Oh, life...

Are you really happy or just really comfortable?

This is a question I've been asking myself for months. I've moved back to Virginia, where I have again started teaching; and where I am again finding myself drowning in school related "stuff" and therefore putting all the things I dream of constantly and long to pursue on the back burner.

When I made the decision to leave New York and come back to Virginia; I tried to justify it with:
"Virginia is less expensive." "The pace is less hectic." "I'll have more time to pursue the things that make me happy."

Well, to tell the truth, only one-third of these has turned out to be true; and now I'm kicking myself in the butt, reevaluating my decision and coming to terms with the reason I chose Virginia - it was COMFORTABLE. 

And now while I watch friends get married and have babies, travel and go on great adventures, I find myself thinking, "I had plans." I was going to move to the West Coast, pursue my art, do some yoga, and really LIVE - and yet, I find where I am is a far cry from where I had planned to be. So what to do now? I'm not entirely sure; and while that is somewhat frustrating and unsettling, I realize it's also okay.

We must get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable for it's that discomfort that propels us into action and forward into the life we've imagined.

Until next time...

Smile! Autumn is here!

Shorter days; hot apple cider; orange, yellow, red everywhere you look AND school - autumn is in full swing...

Some of the things that are making me smile lately -

Sunday mornings at the Farmer's Market

Playing in the leaves

The sun shining through the trees in the morning

This guy...

AND pumpkins!

What are you taking the time to enjoy during this lovely season?

Decisions, Decisions...

Good Morning Loves... 

It's been a while since I've posted anything. School is finally out for the summer and to say I've been taking advantage of the opportunity to catch up on sleep would be a vast understatement. I am thoroughly enjoying my lazy mornings and occasional afternoon naps.

The beginning of this summer is a vast contrast to how my summer began last year. Last year, a couple of days after school ended, I immediately jumped into yoga teacher training which as most of you know, turned my life around by a very exciting 180 degrees.

Today, in the midst of all my relaxing; I again find myself at a crossroads, and weighing the pros and cons of my options has me a little overwhelmed.  I mean, it's good to have choices...right? But what happens, when those choices are being thrown at you at every turn?

At this moment, I'm attempting to again get past my trepidation of the unknown - to have enough confidence in myself to know that I am capable of overcoming any obstacle I may encounter...no matter which path I choose.

Taking the time to remind myself...

Look for the dream that keeps coming back. It is your destiny.

                                                                             

Looking Back...Moving Forward

the only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson 

as you all know, last june i moved to new york taking the first step on a path to self-discovery, happiness, and adventure. over the course of these past months i have learned a lot about myself and my relationships with others. i've learned to be much more selective about what i welcome into my life and about letting go of what no longer serves me. i've made new friends and have had the opportunity to share my new life with old friends. i've envisioned my future and have begun to implement the actions needed to make that future happen. 

bottom line, i wouldn't trade this year for anything - it's truly allowed me to figure out who i am; no apologies, no excuses.

as i venture further forward into that great unknown we call life, i have made a promise to myself to be better than i was yesterday, to live a life true to myself regardless of self-doubt or the opinions of others - what a difference a year makes...

today, i encourage you all to take a look back to where you were a year ago and take joy in your own journey, giving gratitude for how far you've come and looking forward to a bright future.

until next time...

We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us.

-Charles Bukowski

Find the Joy

Remember, today is awesome -

Find joy in the ordinary, for if you take the time to really pause and consciously contemplate your life, you will realize it's actually pretty amazing.

Until next time...

Be open to whatever comes next...

It's Spring...(breathe and enjoy)

It was one of those 

March days when the sun 

shines hot and the wind

blows cold; when it is 

summer in the light, and 

winter in the shade.

                                   - Great Expectations

Oh spring! That wonderful season of expectation, hope, growth, and renewal...

Although the temperature is keeping steady between 30 and 40 degrees here in New York, the feelings of spring are in full effect. The days are longer, there is a bounce in peoples' steps. It seems the world is feeling so hopeful about the future - looking ahead with excitement and purpose.

Personally, I am running into my future, full steam ahead and arms wide open; making the decision to keep my eyes on the road ahead and refusing to look back.

What are you looking forward to this season and beyond? What thoughts are you planting now to create the future you want?

Something to think on ~
It is in all of us to defy expectations, to go into the world and to be brave, and to want to need, to hunger for adventures; to embrace change and chance and risk, so that we may breathe and know what it is to be free...
                           -Mae Chevrette

Bucket List

For the past couple of weeks, I have been embracing my inner cowgirl at Cimarron Ranch in Putnam Valley, NY.

I have wanted to take horseback riding lessons for forever, and a couple of weeks ago I just made up my mind to do it; so I googled, did a little research, read some reviews, and ended up at Cimarron Ranch riding a gentle Palamino named Midas a week later. The lessons have been great! My instructor Leigh is so knowledgeable, and I've really enjoyed the routine of riding.

It's funny, I was speaking to a friend of mine recently; telling her about some of the things I've done since moving to New York - exploring the city, going to see The Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music hall over the holidays, horseback riding lessons, etc. and she was so happy to hear that I was "crossing things off my bucket list." 

I had to stop for a second and really process what she was saying - I mean, yes, I've dreamed of living in New York since I was in my twenties, I've wanted to see the Christmas Spectacular for as long as I can remember, and horseback riding lessons have been on my radar for years; but I guess I never really thought about any of those things being on my "bucket list." After all, they were such small things - when I think of a bucket list, I think of skydiving and traveling the world. You know, really BIG things. That being said, what I've come to realize is this, small things can be an adventure too, totally bucket list worthy. After all, a trip around the world has to start somewhere...

What will you cross off of your bucket list today?

Until next time...

We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have if we only seek them with our eyes open.
                                                                         -Jawaharal Nehru

 

Me, after riding; cold, muddy, happy...

Sasha is one of the dogs on the ranch. She enjoys supervising the lessons.

Taco the donkey is a very friendly and vocal chap.

A Twinkle in Time

This has been a long week - and with all the snow we've been getting, I have been really anxious for spring - until today. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm still ready for spring. I'm looking forward to trees budding and flowers blooming, to warm breezes and longer days; but today I took a moment to really appreciate the now and revel in the beauty of winter.

My parents, a family friend, and I went hiking this morning at the Michael Ciaiola Conservation Area in Patterson, NY; a small town about 50 miles north of Manhattan. As we walked, I felt my body and mind begin to relax. Listening to the sounds of our boots in the snow, the wind blowing gently through the trees, and the rushing water of the falls was a meditation of sorts. At one point I just stood and lifted my face to the sky, allowing myself to really bask in the warmth of the sun.

Our morning hike helped me realize how necessary it is for me to spend more time outside; communing with nature and taking joy in the moment. Life can get so busy at times, and as a society we tend to overlook the beauty all around us, thinking about what we have to do next and forgetting to focus on, and enjoy the present.

Today, give yourself the moment, a twinkle in time; for today is the youngest you will ever be and the oldest you have ever been.

Exploring Beacon

Happy February friends! Can you believe we're already in the second month of 2013? Time is flying...

I started my February with a visit to Beacon, NY, a small town about an hour and a half north of Manhattan. I had heard there was a lot to explore in the way of gluten free restaurants, antique shops, vintage clothing stores, and museums; but when we arrived most things were...closed - cue the disappointment.

After talking to a few people, we realized that Beacon is more of a spring/summer town - much more active during the warmer months.

Since we were there, we decided to take a stroll down Main Street anyway. Along the way, I saw some very interesting window displays, found a gluten free bakery (shout out to Ella's Bellas and their delicious apple turnovers), browsed through the one antique shop that was open, and tasted chocolate covered bacon (don't knock it 'til you try it) at a specialty chocolate shop.

All in all, it was a relaxing afternoon. I would definitely like to go back once the weather warms up and see the town in action.

Ella's Bellas, a gluten free bakery with scrumptious
sweet and savory treats.

The view from the bridge on East Main St.

Chocolate covered bacon...need I say more?

Found this window display interesting...

2013

2013...

I am on a journey...
with my work, explorations, and a few sad stories.
I travel with a suitcase full 
of outrageous blessings.
I am on a quest for truth,
beauty, and quiet joy.
I am an artist, a writer, 
an explorer.

What do you envision for your life this year? Get up, get out and make it happen.

Optimistic

This past weekend, a little time spent in the sun and fresh air, coupled with dinner and an amazing group of ladies really helped me put some things into perspective.

While looking around the table at my friends, and the next day lifting my face to feel the warmth of the sun; I realized...life is good, and while I may not have all the answers, or know what my future holds - I'm optimistic...

This is a short post, but I will leave you with a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. that I personally find very encouraging. It serves to remind me daily that whatever I do, I must continue my journey...

"If you can't fly, then run, if you can't run, then walk, if you can't walk, then crawl; but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward."
                        -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Until next time...

Very, Very Merry...

I hope everyone had a very, very Merry Christmas! 

My day was stupendous! My sister was home from Honduras; where she has been living for the past two years, my cousin's family was here from Spain, and there were continuous visits and phone calls from friends throughout the day. 

The day was truly wrapped in love and laughter.

As I sat in the kitchen amid the wonderful chaos, I was in awe watching my son help his grandmother cook Christmas dinner. Looking at him, I was amazed and so proud of the young man he has grown into. I reveled in spending time with my sister, whom I had not seen since June. I took time to converse with my 11-year-old cousin about her new kindle and the latest book she was reading.

It felt good to relax and enjoy each moment of the day. As I looked around me, I realized how blessed I truly am.

Now that Christmas has passed, I look forward to 2013. A new year, a new beginning, a new road to travel...

As we enter a new year, I leave you with a blessing;

May the long time sun shine upon you.

All love surround you.

And the pure light within you,

Guide your way on.

No Looking Back...

Well, we are a week away from Christmas and two weeks from a brand new year. Where do you see yourself headed as we get closer to 2013? I keep asking myself that question and if I were to answer honestly, I would have to say I'm not sure. When I moved to New York, I had a clear vision - a plan as it were. Well, in the past few weeks that plan has become very blurry. I feel like I'm all over the place in terms of the future and I can't get a firm grasp on what I want to do or where I want to go. I'm not sure that New York is where I belong, but at the moment I can't think of any place that I'd rather be. 

I feel like I'm floating.

As this year comes to a close and a new one begins, I'm hoping to gain some perspective. Figure out the road I want to travel, work out a new plan; we'll see...

In the meantime, I will continue to be thankful for where I am and optimistic about my future, after all...

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

Merry Christmas!

Small Steps

December is almost upon us. Not only does it bring with it my favorite time of year; but it also marks the anniversary of my second year in remission from lymphoma.

Being diagnosed with cancer was a huge turning point in my life, as I'm sure you can imagine. Not only did it bring my mortality into very sharp focus; but the months during which I was going through chemotherapy allowed me to really think about and clarify a clearer vision for my life.

Although it took some time for me to actually act on some of the things I was considering; this past summer I did take a huge step in realizing one dream by moving to New York City.

Recently, a friend and I were having a conversation about life and where we saw our futures heading. In having this conversation, I realized that the life I have always imagined for myself is no longer the life I necessarily want.

This summer I have plans to travel to South Africa and I'm giving a lot of thought as to where to go after that. 

I'm forming a picture in my mind of becoming a world citizen. Living in different countries and immersing myself in other cultures. I want to know what it feels like to live in a society that does not live to work; where material wealth is not the end goal. I want to live simply and experience the joy in that.

My friend had a different vision for where he ultimately saw himself, but we did agree on one thing; it's important to start small -  to take one step each day that will help get us closer to our individual objectives. 

I challenge you today to think about the vision you have for your life. Consider your future, and then start small. Do something each day that will eventually help you realize the future you have always imagined.

Loving the Journey...

As I'm sure most of you are aware, we are experiencing some severe weather here on the East Coast (thanks Hurricane Sandy). I'm not complaining too much though, as it does give us an extra day to rest and relax; which I personally, desperately need at the moment. I'm also using some of this time to consider my next steps. 

New York has been great; but I am starting to feel restless. I'm considering my options and putting great thought into what I would like to do next. I've put in an application to volunteer at a wildlife preserve in South Africa this summer and am considering simplifying life considerably and moving to Vermont in the fall - renting a little cottage, working part-time and concentrating on the things I love doing (a sabbatical of sorts). If not now - when, right?

In all honesty, I do miss Virginia, but I don't think its time to go back yet. There are still some things I need to see and experience. I feel a little like the leaves blowing outside my window - I'm floating, not sure where I'm going to end up. I'll guess I'll get there eventually. Right now, I'm staying excited for the journey and learning to love the process.

Until next time...

Take your risks now, as you grow older you become more fearful and less flexible.

                                                                                           -Amy Poehler

If Not Now, When?

It's been a busy weekend and I was really looking forward to a lazy Sunday. That being said...I'm not sure how I found myself running on a high school track at 7:00 this morning. 

Those of you that know me, know that I am NOT a runner. In fact, it has always been one of my least favorite things to do in the world. So much so, that if I was being chased by a bear, I would seriously have to debate whether to run for my life or fall down and play dead.

But I digress...back to this morning...

When my mother invited me to go running this morning, I wanted to decline, roll over and go back to sleep; but I decided to get up because I've been all about trying new experiences lately. "Who knows," I thought, "maybe I'll get out there and decide I love it."

Well, I did not decide I loved running; but it was not as bad as I thought it would be...in fact, I will admit (grudgingly), I felt really good afterward. I then proceeded to come home and complete an at home cross-fit work out, which maaayyy have been a bit too much after this morning's foray around the track, but hey, you live and you learn right? The point is, I tried something new; something I never thought I could even remotely enjoy and discovered that it really wasn't that bad. 

We all know, doing the same thing day after day and expecting different results is the definition of madness. If we want something different for our lives, we must be willing to branch out and do things differently than we always have. 

I recently read the following quote by Colin Wright:

You have exactly one life in which to do everything you'll ever do. Act accordingly.

I am reminding myself of this everyday. Life is a series of moments called now. Don't wait for tomorrow to live the life you've always envisioned                                                                       

This Month...

Fall is upon us. The air is crisp, temperatures have cooled and everywhere you look, you can see vibrant red, orange and yellow leaves beginning to peek out from amongst the green.

As we transition into this new season, take the time to try something you've always wanted to do, but could never find the time for.

School has been so busy the past month, that between work and moving, I haven't had the time to really enjoy my "free time." Yoga has been on the back burner, and I haven't been to the park in weeks. This month, I have decided that I will mindfully make the time to do the things that nourish my soul, mind and body.

I've signed up for Cross-Fit training and am signing up for a pottery class. My decision in signing up for these two activities is two-fold. First, they are both something I am interested in and feel I would enjoy, and by taking part in group activities I enjoy, I will meet people who are also interested and enjoy said activities.

My hope is, that in trying out new things, I'll meet new people and begin to make friends in this new city of mine. As we all know, friendship makes the world a brighter place, and friendship is one thing I am woefully lacking here in New York...so that being said, here's to new experiences and the forging of new friendships.

What have you been trying to find the time for, that you might try this month?

Living My Story

I recently found a journal of mine from years ago. Looking at the pictures and quotes I had included amongst my daily thoughts gave me some pause. There were so many visions for my life that I had forgotten about. One picture in particular caught my eye - a picture of the New York City skyline. Leafing through that journal allowed me to remember some of the goals and aspirations I've set for myself over the years, and while some of them no longer applied, some definitely did; such as my desire to live in New York City at least once in my life.

Well, I'm here, and my life at the moment is one huge learning curve. I'm tired beyond imagination; both physically and mentally. But I can honestly say - I'm happy.

I'm having the time of my life and I haven't done much beyond work for the last three weeks (smile). Maybe it's the fact that I am starting to shape a new vision for my life. I'm broadening my horizons and making a list of all the new things that I'd like to try (trapeze classes, knitting, guitar lessons, exploring the Hudson Valley - just to name a few). 

I'm looking out at the world and gazing at the infinite possibility of what the future holds and I'm excited. I am living my story.

Until next time...

Take the time to remember what you've always dreamed of for your life and then ask yourself - What's stopping you?

Jumping In...

This past summer was one of the best of my life so far. I began to find the person I've always been and somehow lost sight of. In doing that, I also realized I could not go back to the way life was. I went back to Virginia and knew that it was no longer my place. Something was missing...and I had to find out what that was. Life is too short to live with regrets - sometimes we just have to jump into the unknown and see where it takes us...

So, here I am; this is me jumping in...I relocated to New York City this past Monday. 

Everything has happened so fast that my head is still spinning. I must say, the way everything came together, I believe it must be fate or kismet that I am here; in this city, at this time.

 I recently read a quote that summed up what I was feeling -

You cannot always wait for the perfect time, sometimes you must dare to jump.

Mustering the courage to do what would truly make me happy regardless of the consequences has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do...but I have full confidence that it is going to be totally worth it...

Until next time, remember - 

some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. 

life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what is going to happen next.

delicious ambiguity...

                                                             - gilda radner

Bittersweet...

Well, my time in NYC is over for now. I go back to Virginia tomorrow; and though I miss my life at home, I have come to love this city.

Yoga teacher training ended on the 27th so I've used the past week to spend time with wonderful friends, eat at great restaurants, explore the Museum of Natural History and watch children play in the fountain at Washington Square Park. I went to Broadway in Bryant Park where I saw performances from Silence the Musical and Mamma Mia. I've visited a lounge with incredible city views at the Dream Hotel and had a relaxing glass of sangria at a very cool wine bar.

Yesterday, as my time here came to a close, a friend took the time to show me some last minute peeks of the city. We had brunch in Brooklyn and then made our way to Central Park, where we laid in the grass, stopped and watched an awesome skating/dance party, were amazed by a woman hula-hooping while playing the violin (how cool is that?), and watched a blazing sunset from the reservoir.

The last 5 weeks have been such a great experience and I'm sad to see it come to an end; but I will be back - more yoga teacher training in September - so...until next time New York...

Views of the city from the Williamsburg Flea Market in Brooklyn

Mamma Mia @ Broadway in Bryant Park..looks like such a fun show
Definitely going to see it on Broadway

Central Park

Skate/Dance party in Central Park. Everyone was having so much fun.
I felt like I had been dropped into a 70's disco movie

For those of you who have seen the movie Enchanted...recognize this bridge?

Spectacular sunset seen from the reservoir
Beautiful end to a great day